When Motherhood Gets The Best Of Us

Some days it’s hard being a mom. Some days it’s difficult to explain. But some days, well most days it’s just love. Motherhood is love.

Kuya Seth has learned the joy of playing with our neighbors. Since we moved to a new place, he discovered new friends and they play outside the house (but still inside the compound). He asks for permission before going outside “mama, can I play outside?” and we let him as long as: 1- he has supervision and 2- he doesn’t go outside the gate. Those were our rules, aside from the usual “no fighting”, “no crying”, etc. But the emphasis has been on the “no going out of the gate” part, for “someone might get you”, or “you might get into an accident”. Of course we don’t expect him to do as we say 100%. He is a toddler, after all.

Last week I was watching over Seth when he heard his playmate go outside their house. He was beaming with joy, as always, and asked mama the question, “mama, I hear my playmates! Can I please go outside and play?”. Mama said yes, and put on a pair of shorts and towel for him. I told him I had to change clothes first – he was super excited so I let him go with the 2 golden rules at hand. I was changing my clothes when suddenly the kids playing outside turned silent and I cannot hear them anymore. I ran outside to check (just by our gate), the “big kids” told me he was at the main gate. I ran towards the terrace so I can see him (I have not changed my clothes yet!!!) and shouted, “Seth????? Where are you???”.

He screamed at me and said, “hi mama!!!”. I literally held back my tears (I swear motherhood makes me emotional all the time!) because he was just there, by the gate, waiting for his friends. I asked him, “why are you there????” Seth answered, “I am waiting for Kyla, mom! She went outside. I told her I can’t go outside so I stayed here.”

 

There are days when I feel like I fail at being a good mother. Sometimes I feel like everything is just soooo tiring and I literally break down and cry. 😩😭 I mean being a hands-on-mom while pregnant is just not a good combination. But most days motherhood is love. It gets the best (and worst!) of us but I’d like to believe that moms, we do not lose heart. By God’s grace, we can do this!

Here’s an advance mother’s day greeting to all the mothers out there. Remember: Our labor is never in vain. ❤

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Of course I had to document it so I can be reminded of the “fruit of my labor”. 🙂
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Happy 2015!

What a memorable year that was! Okay – I’m still not used to using ‘was’ – I feel like 2014 is still the year today. Like everything that happened just happened, if you know what I mean.

2014 was the bomb.

2014 started with nothing but faith in my heart. I was an amateur mom (I can now call myself ‘experienced’, thank you very much) with this faith that God will get me through this year.

I mean, I just gave birth to the handsomest little man and the thought of taking care of someone I loved even before we met can be a little scary. Talk about starting from scratch! I blogged before about thinking I knew so much about having a kid just because I am a nurse but well, no amount of science can dictate how you can be a good mother. Every day is a new experience. There is a brand new lesson to learn every second of the day!

So yep, there’s that faith that I can make it as a mom. And I did make it! I am not quite there but hey, I made it through a year! Woohoo!

Then there’s that faith that I can do better, and will excel because that’s what I’m called to do.

I have never- in my years of working- applied for a promotion. I never did because I have this fear of a bigger responsibility. Not that I am not up for the challenge but well, the responsibility can be scary, you know? Also, I’m now a mom and when you’re a mom, your child’s welfare will always be first. Last year, I was supposed to apply for a different post but things happened (because they happen and God wants it to happen- that’s life!) and I applied for this post instead. And by God’s grace, I was handed the promotion! I am thankful and blessed because I know the promotion was never about me. It’s about the ONE who made it happen. 🙂

And then there’s that faith that I can be both a wife and a mom. And when I said wife, I meant the Proverbs 31 kind of wife. It is such a challenge!! There are times wherein I would disregard my husband because I am so engrossed with becoming a good mom- you know how it is- my child’s clothes are prepared neatly but not my husband’s- stuff like that. I guess it took me a while to realize I have been regretting my husband. And then I was just reminded that while it is super important to take care of my child, I was called to be a wife first, then mother, second.

So how did I survive the year that was? It’s through faith. Faith in knowing that you can claim what you think was impossible. Faith in claiming that God’s timing is always perfect. Faith in knowing you can do more, and become more.

And faith that the new year would be better than the previous one.

Yey for 2014!! And a bigger, louder roar for 2015. ❤

Here are some higlights of my 2014:

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My little munchkin. 2014 revolved around him.

 

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I’m a mom!! What a blessing. 🙂

 

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With the Boss and my nff, Armi. 🙂

 

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HA QA Team. 🙂

 

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Was transferred to a new account. The GR Fambam.

 

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Our family is bigger- and I say that literally and well, physically. ❤ Family is always love.

 

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With the in laws. 🙂 Love this family to death as well! 🙂

 

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Celebrated our 2nd year of being married. ❤ I’m in love with this man more and more everyday!

 

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Now we’re three. 🙂

 

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Me and my minion! ❤

 

Happy New Year, everyone!