I have always wanted to write something about my fiance and I going the distance but for some weird reason, I just can’t seem find the right inspiration for me to start.
Until last week, a review-mate and I chatted after a long time and she told me she’s so inspired with our story. She even told me that before,she always say that going LDR is never possible but because of our story, she scrapped that thought and believed in love again. She even aked me tips and I felt soooooo inadequate to do so but I did anyway. Our story is indeed one for the books, so I guess am supposed to share it to the world how we survived.
Here are my thoughts on how to make long distance relationships work. I am no love guru but I really wanna share how once in my life, I went LDR and made it work. 🙂
1. Set a goal and focus on that goal. When my fiance left, we both had one thing in mind: he’s leaving to save money for our future together. If you focus on that goal, distractions and temptations may come but you will not give in. So a lady flirts with you at work. Do you flirt back? Heck no. You’re working for your future for you and your fiance.
In my case, being the one left, whenever some guy asks me out, I again focus on our goal. My fiance is working his a** off for our future. Why would I cheat on him?
2. Whatever you used to do while you were together (meaning you’re not islands away), do it still, and act like nothing’s changed. My relationship with my fiance is sort of a clingy one. Haha. Everyday upon waking up, whoever wakes up first calls the other to say good morning. Before leaving home, we call each other to say ‘I’m on our way to work’.. And calls or texts once we arrive to work. During break time at work, we call each other and make sure the other has already eaten. The same goes when we leave work and get home. The texts are just one liners and the calls ate just for a few minutes.
You may raise your eyebrows and tell us ‘give each other a break!’ and it’s fine. 🙂 To some, this kind of relationship doesn’t work. But to some like us, it does. And I am so blessed to have a guy who’s as clingy as I am. Oh sometimes even more. Like way more. Haha.
So that was our routine. And when the fiance left, that routine still continued. Despite the time difference (I was 5 hours ahead), we still kept that routine, like nothing really happened. Like we weren’t miles away.
3. Communication is key. Sometimes when I’m too busy with work I am so tired to stay up late to skype with the fiance. When that happens, there’s like this wall being built.. And everytime we skip the talking session we make that wall higher and higher until the next time we talk we just can’t seem to get each other.
A few minutes of talking won’t hurt but a few minutes of not talking is big deal. Make time for each other. Busy with work? Make time for each other. Preoccupied with a lot of things? Make time to communicate with each other. The consequences are bad enough when you don’t make time when you’re not miles apart,what more when you are,right?
4. We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. You know, when we rely on our own strength, eventually we will get tired of the waiting, the fighting, the whole relationship.
I don’t wanna sound preachy or anything but really, without God’s strength covering ours, we wouldn’t have survived. His strength made us capable of being even more patient, even more understanding, even more loving.
5. Let LOVE lead the way. It is true that love bears all things. I can’t help but be teary-eyed as I type this because sometimes I just am in disbelief how everything was so easy for us during the time that we were apart. That’s because love made everything easy. Love is indeed patient, and kind… Love,love,love! 🙂
6. Don’t just give up. I don’t think I need to put more words here. Don’t break up with someone over skype or over text. Be man or be woman enough. Don’t be that unfair.
A simple fight doesn’t mean break up right away. Talk about it, compromise. Breaking up is never the solution.
So to all you LDR couples who are being tested right now, be confident and believe that you are gonna get through this! 🙂 I’m praying for you, and know that this is indeed possible…especially to those who believe.
Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day to all!