Here’s a writeup from my former blog. Thought of re-posting it because of what’s happening to some, and mainly because I am grateful that I’m done with the whole season of breakups and all that jazz.
It’s official: it definitely is breakup season for everybody.
I must say that though I am a fan of love and romance and relationships and I hate breakups, I feel kind of happy that some of my friends are also having relationship problems. I know, I know. I can be selfish sometimes *wink,wink* I’m sorry! I just think it feels kinda good that some people are experiencing the same heart problems like me. But going serious now, I wouldn’t wanna wish my “pain” to be felt by anybody else. No one deserves this crappy, stupid, pathetic feeling. *sigh*
I had dinner with my spiritual family last Sunday. Oh, how I’ve missed them. And because they love me so so so so much, they went to visit me after my review class. Yey! Well we really scheduled a meet last week because one of my friends had to have his “press release”, but the meet was canceled to my dismay (I wanted to be with them so bad!) because of some reasons. Details later. You see, that’s what we do- when something’s up, we call the press. And then make the announcement. And then the press- my spiritual family- would line up and ask questions. Really really tough ones. Questions that the toughest of the press would not dare ask. This time, our brother needed to see us because oh, surprise: Heart problems. It really is heart problem season for everyone, eh? And of course, it’s been months since we last saw him so I’m assuming he missed us big time, too.
First we listened to one of my brothers’ story. It wasn’t really the agenda, but because he also broke up with his ex and we did not hear the story, we demanded that he make his press release that time. I never really heard his side, and WE ALL HEARD THE GIRL’S. Emphasis on we, please, because she really befriended everyone of us and told us the story. Yep. He did tell the story and we all felt enlightened but he still doesn’t want to talk with her – yet.
Let’s now go to my second brother’s story. So he has been having problems with his new girlfriend (who’s now his ex- according to him). He then told us how they started (it has been a really long time since we last saw him so we kinda missed the story of how they began), up to the reason why he needed to break up with her – which he did- THROUGH A TEXT MESSAGE. We were 5 at the table, 2 girls and 3 boys. My sister and I were insisting that he talk to him. And while we were there talking, his cell phone kept ringing and his “ex-girlfriend” kept calling him. And she won’t give up. My brother would not answer the call, so he’d just let the phone vibrate and ring, distracting all of us. We were telling him, “answer it already!”, but he did not want to. He told us the girl wouldn’t break up with him, so he sees no point of talking to her. I insisted that he talk to her face to face because she deserves THAT from him. He doesn’t want to, for fear that the girl might break down or cry in front of him and he does not know what to do when such a thing happens.
While listening to them boys, I felt for the girls. I felt for the ex-girlfriend who’s still in denial that they’ve broken up already. I felt for the girlfriend who kept calling the boyfriend just to make sure he’s safe and he’s all right. I felt for the girlfriend who wants to talk about everything just to make things okay again. I felt for the girlfriend who wanted to demand an explanation for things but couldn’t… Just couldn’t. I felt for the girlfriend who wanted to be angry but can’t, simple because she can’t. I felt for the girl who’d do everything to make things okay again, who’d beg for a second chance, who’d hurt herself at the thought of losing the boyfriend, who’d forgive after hearing the boyfriend say “I’m sorry”, and “I promise not to do it again.”
It’s sad to see a headstrong woman beg and cry. But love makes us do stupid things. Even the scientist Blaise Pascal agreed when he said, “The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.”
But yes, I also felt for the boys. Being a woman myself, I’ve been there, done that. I’ve been hurt by these men and recovered. But while listening to them, deep down, I was crying. There was something bothering me inside. I couldn’t put them into words that time- and until now. I think I just felt sad that it really is an unfair world. Guys will be guys. And yes, girls will be girls. Over and over I kept wishing that sometimes, they could trade places with us. So that they know how pathetic and stupid they make us feel sometimes. And on the other hand, I wish we could trade places with them, so that we know how they think. And how panicky we make them feel when we cry in front of them. I mean, guys are hard to read, after all. But we are also- let’s admit it- the hardest to comprehend.
For my two boys who can’t break up to the girls in person, I’m sorry, brothers, but you guys have to be men and go through it. Just rip off the band-aid. I know it’s hard for you, but it’s also hard for us to be left clueless. Please, try to understand, that we may take the breakup the hard way, but it’s harder to be left hanging, wondering if we still have you or not.
And to my girls who receive the news, please be ladies. Take the breakup with grace (yeah, like that’s easy!) and well, I don’t know. I can’t really say what we may do, but just know that God’s promised our princes when the time is right. Although that may not stop us from grieving and all that, but well, I REALLY DON’T KNOW.
And that goes out to you, too, men.
There’s a popular book in stores — IT’S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT’S BROKEN. And I think it’s true — People break up for a reason. We may not understand it now, but someday we will. We may laugh or smile at our stupidity and mistakes, we might cry (secondary to too much laughter).
And like what I always say, when the time is right, we’ll all get the love stories we’ve all prayed for, and while we’re at it, let’s seek God to be God’s best, and then let’s seek God’s best. He is after all, the author of romance… and He is after all our first love.